Missing.

Pill popping, head throbbing, fever jumping.. needless to say more? I've been sick for 6 days straight and luckily i am getting better. I feel bad because my friend sat with me through these 6 whole days stuck at home because i was sick. what a great friend huh ? :] I've gone through from fever, to vomitting, to blood withdrawal, to pills after pills, to spitting up big fat luggies, ugh enough about this stuff, it's making me sick to the stomach as i think about it.

My summer so far hasn't been one of the greatest. There were ups and downs, but as i look back i believe there were more downs than ups. That's pretty pathetic. And as i remember "it's not what happens to you, It's what you do about it." but in this idiotic case I honestly can't do shit. I'm just the person on the bench, screaming my lungs out, but if the game fails, all i can do is sit in disappointment. In reality I am disappointed. There's so much going on that words can't express the journey I went through. It's like what happened to everything we've been through. What ever happened to we're thicker than anything that get in our way. That "thing" faded as time has passed, but only some held on, some simply departed their own ways. I use to have this vision of an ideal person, but thanks to someone dear, I've opened myself to a bigger light realizing shit like that can never happened. I do expect more out of those who matter, but i have to back track because it might end up leaving me in utter disappointment.

Being sick with all this bullshit is lame. But what sucks even more is not having the one you love with you 24/7. Yeah i hate the damn distant, but that doesn't change how much i wanna see him or how much i love him or how much i want to talk to him or to just be with him. He make everything okay, and he sure is damn one of a kind. I truly can't ask for more and i don't care what others have to say. " Those who mind won't matter and those who matter won't mind" still true. There are only time where i talk about things in our life, but surely there are more to us than others may think. He's already wonderful and "perfect" in my eyes.

Missing... I miss not being sick, being able to go out enjoy the damn summer, getting roasted under the gleaming sun. I miss what use to be, the laugh, the cry, the thick and thins, it won't ever be the same. I miss my boyfriend, being gone for three nights is still long, can't even talk to him, can't see him, or spend time with him on july 4th. If only life can take back things, maybe some of the shit won't turn out to be so damn shitty. HAHA. yeah right. things happen for a reason correct? i still think it's bullshit.

well that's about it.
take care.