I embraced for the moment to finally arrive. For the past days, my family have been at the hospital, checking up on my 95 year old great grandma. Her failing body was not going to revive itself. She knew it was her time to go.
This morning, i woke up around 10 am. My sister received a call from my mother, urging us to come to the hospital to take a last look at our great grandmother. We got ready and left the house, trying not to let time pass us by. We arrived at the hospital and the relatives were outside waiting for the nurse to clean my ggma's room. Everyone had a sad burden face. It was enough to trigger the flow of tears from ones eyes. The nurse then announced that her heart rate is beating twice as fast. Everyone emerged into the room rapidly. She was laying there while everyone crowed around her death bed, crying and praying to save her soul. Streams of tears were flowing onto everyone's face as her heart rate decreases. Taking a very last moment with the ones she loved, she went off into heaven. She had a cross by her heart and pictures of saints on her soulders. My religious family prayed along with the rosery and everyone was mouring soulfully. The heart rate moniter went off. Her heart rate came back to about 50 then decreased again. It was surprising to me that she came back a few times before she finally passed away at 11:05 am. I thought that she was going to come back to us for a few seconds, but god called her through the gateway to heaven, so she can meet her loving family and my dear grandfather. While in reality, this was a first hand experience for me. I never witness a death with my very own eyes. I remember the time when someone dear passed away, I was too afraid to attend their funeral. This time, I have to be there, not to pay respect, but to give her the love i had that were emotionally there. I will surely miss her. She waited for mine and my sister and my cousin presence before she took off into paradise. And for that, it meant a whole lot.
I wept my eyes out because she was an adorable person. Before she lost her memories, She couldnt recognize me until i started smiling. When i was little, she used to pull out a couple of bucks and give it to me so i could buy candies. When i became older, i didn't see her so often, every time i did see her, i would simply give her a huge smile and her grey eyes would widen as she giggles and calls me silly. Now that she's gone, it's hard for the family because everyone took care of her. But really, we shouldn't be sad about this thing called life, we just have to look on the bright side and believe that she's in a better place, and so she is.
R.I.P great grandma, you will always be missed.. forever.
Monday, December 22, 2008
He does the darnest things.
it's unexpectedly cute the way he showers his feelings for me. i absolutely love it :]
"dear santa,
for christmas this year, i want jessica trang vu all to myself. i know that's selfish but you can't blame me, can you? she's just so wonderful and i don't wanna share her with anyone (family, friends, co-workers). yes i know that's shady but who cares.
oh yeah. i was wondering if you can deliver too. if you can, can you pick up my computer desk and chair from dublin and drop it off under the christmas tree? i'll appreciate it a lot. thanks.
p.s. don't worry, i'll give you a jar of cookies and a full glass of milk this time.
your all-time favorite,
tony hung nguyen"
baby, all i want for christmas is you :]
"dear santa,
for christmas this year, i want jessica trang vu all to myself. i know that's selfish but you can't blame me, can you? she's just so wonderful and i don't wanna share her with anyone (family, friends, co-workers). yes i know that's shady but who cares.
oh yeah. i was wondering if you can deliver too. if you can, can you pick up my computer desk and chair from dublin and drop it off under the christmas tree? i'll appreciate it a lot. thanks.
p.s. don't worry, i'll give you a jar of cookies and a full glass of milk this time.
your all-time favorite,
tony hung nguyen"
baby, all i want for christmas is you :]
Saturday, December 6, 2008
my boyfriend is so cute :]
so my story titled drowning wasnt completed so my boyfriend wanted to finish it for me. hahaha although i will finish it another time :] but i thought he was cute for doing it. haha i adore him so much :] <33
his version:
"suddenly she wakes up grasping for air. as she open her eyes, she sees a familiar face. it was the young man again. she then asks, " what happened? " he replies," i jumped in the water to saved you." confused, she asks, "why would you do such do for me?" so then, he looks straight into her eyes and says, "because i love you.."
his version:
"suddenly she wakes up grasping for air. as she open her eyes, she sees a familiar face. it was the young man again. she then asks, " what happened? " he replies," i jumped in the water to saved you." confused, she asks, "why would you do such do for me?" so then, he looks straight into her eyes and says, "because i love you.."
Thursday, December 4, 2008
drowning..
she tiptoed off of a ridged stone divider. taking a huge gulp of her saliva, she looked down. nothing but rapid of waves hitting against the hard edge rocks. she abruptly shut her eyes as tears strolled down her heart shaped face. she hesitates. the swift air taps her face as she stands within the midst of the darken fog.
she opened her eyes, her heart rate fastens as she begins to hold her breath.
'dont go' a soft cunning voice interrupts her mind. she turns around squinting at the inches of silhouette making its way towards her. a familiar face came about. a young man whom she have once known in her life stands with pleading eyes behind those thin metal glasses. she looks away without saying a single word. silence with the existence of his choking breath she couldn't bare.. she looks forward.
'this is where we need to go' sincere with her words, she turns around to give him a final look
'it's time to let go'
her eyes stride a heavy blink as she steps forwards and leaps into the air.
she felt free again within moments, letting herself go, the fog no longer were mists within the surface but rain frickling against her exposed skin. she can hear the whistling wind as she brace herself for the fall, and in she went.
the wetness of the waves clashed against her as she was carried by the current. she felt herself sinking, forced underneath the water. she was panicking shitlessly when she finally realized she shouldn't fear the worst, but endure the pain so she let herself drown..
nothing was heard, nothing was felt. she wanted to open her eyes, but she felt that they were glued shut. she then saw her mind elapsing the past as she enter the present. she saw a fainted thin white line. her body follows, but her mind is guiding. she felt eased for a brief moment, but a stab struck into her heart. shocked and afraid, she looks down she feels the brutal pain but nothing is shown. something is wrong, she can't discover the diagnose. shes weak and felt the collapse her heart might encounter. she tried to get pass the hurt, but she let go and nothing but pure darkness blacked out her heavy mind.
to be continued
she opened her eyes, her heart rate fastens as she begins to hold her breath.
'dont go' a soft cunning voice interrupts her mind. she turns around squinting at the inches of silhouette making its way towards her. a familiar face came about. a young man whom she have once known in her life stands with pleading eyes behind those thin metal glasses. she looks away without saying a single word. silence with the existence of his choking breath she couldn't bare.. she looks forward.
'this is where we need to go' sincere with her words, she turns around to give him a final look
'it's time to let go'
her eyes stride a heavy blink as she steps forwards and leaps into the air.
she felt free again within moments, letting herself go, the fog no longer were mists within the surface but rain frickling against her exposed skin. she can hear the whistling wind as she brace herself for the fall, and in she went.
the wetness of the waves clashed against her as she was carried by the current. she felt herself sinking, forced underneath the water. she was panicking shitlessly when she finally realized she shouldn't fear the worst, but endure the pain so she let herself drown..
nothing was heard, nothing was felt. she wanted to open her eyes, but she felt that they were glued shut. she then saw her mind elapsing the past as she enter the present. she saw a fainted thin white line. her body follows, but her mind is guiding. she felt eased for a brief moment, but a stab struck into her heart. shocked and afraid, she looks down she feels the brutal pain but nothing is shown. something is wrong, she can't discover the diagnose. shes weak and felt the collapse her heart might encounter. she tried to get pass the hurt, but she let go and nothing but pure darkness blacked out her heavy mind.
to be continued
Monday, December 1, 2008
dead and gone.
"..That part of me left yesterday...The heart of me is strong today, No regrets I'm blessed to say the old me dead and gone away"
I use the be the girl who looked upon many, who use to believe there's true bond between human's soul. I use to be the girl who wore her heart on her sleeves because i believed i had the strength of others to support me with my actions. I use to be the girl who looked deep into a person's soul; always believing there's more than good than there is bad. I use to be the girl that believe I can be the one to have the blissful people in my life, and only those who are appreciative of my being. I use to be the girl who had faith in others, regardless of their past, present, and later future. I use to be the girl who cared for others thoughts before my own. I use to be the girl with a naive mind, so young and delicate, to let the footsteps rummage upon my heart. I use to be a part of THAT girl, but it's so yesterday.
=Live&Learn
I use the be the girl who looked upon many, who use to believe there's true bond between human's soul. I use to be the girl who wore her heart on her sleeves because i believed i had the strength of others to support me with my actions. I use to be the girl who looked deep into a person's soul; always believing there's more than good than there is bad. I use to be the girl that believe I can be the one to have the blissful people in my life, and only those who are appreciative of my being. I use to be the girl who had faith in others, regardless of their past, present, and later future. I use to be the girl who cared for others thoughts before my own. I use to be the girl with a naive mind, so young and delicate, to let the footsteps rummage upon my heart. I use to be a part of THAT girl, but it's so yesterday.
=Live&Learn
Sunday, November 23, 2008
you want a piece of me
Britney Spears, a delightful inspiration that started off a little wannabe like me, not in a sense where i want to screw up and marry a Kevin Federline but in a sense where people don't know the life behind the scenes where they only have a glimpse through the lens of the paparazzi's camera.
Some judge me because they see the exterior core of being the person I am. They hear things about me, assume things about me, better yet, they love the ideal of nip picking at my flaws. What do I say to that? most likely nothing. It's not because I am afraid to bitch back at them to correct their opinions, but it's because I grew to become alienated to the point where I really don't give a shit. People don't read between the lines. Even if they knew who i was. They're too skeptical about what's weird to them is absolutely me being myself. but reasons only lies within the mind of my own and the only people i should reason with are the ones who are true to me. Otherwise, if they want to judge, I'll let them be entitled to their opinions, I'll let them laugh and hate about the things i do, but I'll always be the one laughing because they really think i don't have ears around the neighborhood.
thats a little piece of me. till then. goodnight.
Some judge me because they see the exterior core of being the person I am. They hear things about me, assume things about me, better yet, they love the ideal of nip picking at my flaws. What do I say to that? most likely nothing. It's not because I am afraid to bitch back at them to correct their opinions, but it's because I grew to become alienated to the point where I really don't give a shit. People don't read between the lines. Even if they knew who i was. They're too skeptical about what's weird to them is absolutely me being myself. but reasons only lies within the mind of my own and the only people i should reason with are the ones who are true to me. Otherwise, if they want to judge, I'll let them be entitled to their opinions, I'll let them laugh and hate about the things i do, but I'll always be the one laughing because they really think i don't have ears around the neighborhood.
thats a little piece of me. till then. goodnight.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
ignorrance
looking pass the windows beyond the blinds lays a flat thick lining above the leveled built houses. It is excruciating to see another day wasted. the dark grey clouds are dimming my excitement to be productive. It is currently a quarter pass four and I still can't budge out of my comforters to wedge out my homework. I have a schedule awaiting me, but sadly my laziness has consume all the physical parts I need to complete my mission.
these kind of disgusting looking days only deserve attention inside a house. where lit up fireplace is in motion and hot cocoa is ready beside my armrest. otherwise, I'm resting my body on my queen sized mattress wasting time flipping through channels to satisfy a good day in. only a lazy person would take on such an adventure. i swear these cold days begs me to become a grumpy bear on crack, hibernating til the sun finally pays another visit to the valley.
but instead of bringing down this time of the year, I can enjoy it on certain days. days where i can drag my boyfriend home where we would enjoy an immense time cuddling and napping the noon away. of course that option comes very often with the time that is given, but a days like today can seriously suck a fat duck. yeah, that's whats up. haha
well drifting off from the nonsense, i have to get back to what is called life. i can be away from it for so long, but reality wise I'm still sitting in existance where disruptions can occur once in a while. a days in can last only for so long, when duty calls, gotta go make ends meet. but as a hippo as i am, my body still neglects the priorities I have before work. therefore, I must accomplish these pointless tasks or time will pass me by.
these kind of disgusting looking days only deserve attention inside a house. where lit up fireplace is in motion and hot cocoa is ready beside my armrest. otherwise, I'm resting my body on my queen sized mattress wasting time flipping through channels to satisfy a good day in. only a lazy person would take on such an adventure. i swear these cold days begs me to become a grumpy bear on crack, hibernating til the sun finally pays another visit to the valley.
but instead of bringing down this time of the year, I can enjoy it on certain days. days where i can drag my boyfriend home where we would enjoy an immense time cuddling and napping the noon away. of course that option comes very often with the time that is given, but a days like today can seriously suck a fat duck. yeah, that's whats up. haha
well drifting off from the nonsense, i have to get back to what is called life. i can be away from it for so long, but reality wise I'm still sitting in existance where disruptions can occur once in a while. a days in can last only for so long, when duty calls, gotta go make ends meet. but as a hippo as i am, my body still neglects the priorities I have before work. therefore, I must accomplish these pointless tasks or time will pass me by.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
i wish you were here..
primp. plump. and voluptuous.
my feet fears brutally sore from work. i need to find some comfy shoes or something before my calluses gets worse. i should be doing my homework, but my laziness has taken over my body, which numbs me for quite some time. my mom's being ridiculous for not letting me go to SD with my baby's fambam. she's stirring up nonsense just because she cares about people's judgment. yeah i know what she means, but hey, i'm pretty deng old to make my own decisions. i miss my tubby. though i see him pretty often, i feel like i haven't had enough.. it's like being so dehydrated, you feel like youre going to pass the fuck out. hahaha funny analogy aint it? well.. ima take another survey, just because.. hahaha
1.
How tall are you barefoot?
- im average for an asian chick
2.
Have you ever smoked heroin?
- never did and never will
3.
Do you own a gun?
- depends what kind of gun? lol
4.
Rehab?
- nope clean offf that shiz
5.
Do you get nervous before "meeting the parents"?
- yes i do.
6.
What do you think of your friends?
- depends who. but it varies
7.
What's your favorite Christmas song?
- santa can you hear me
8.
What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
- juice
9.
Do you do push-ups?
- i try.. though it never really pulls through
10.
Have you ever done ecstacy?
- never did, and never will
11.
Are you vegitarian?
- nope, i love my meats
12.
Do you like painkillers?
- only when i need them? but no
13.
What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
- eye fucking. HAHAHA
14.
Do you own a knife?
- plenty
15. Do you have A.D.D.
?
- probably not. haha
16.
Date Of Birth?
- feb 16 90
17.
Top 3 thoughts at this exact moment:
- im hungry
- i miss my boyfriend
- my feet hurts
18.
Name the last 3 things you have bought?
- mc Ds
- gloves
- cough drops
19.
Name five drinks you regularly drink:
- water
- some kinda of juice when i have it
- jasmine milk tea with pearls .. gotta cut back
- carmel frapp. gotta cut back on that too
- rasberry ice tea
20.
What time did you wake up today?
- 1130
21.
Current hair?
- medium length dark, light brown with faded hay blonde under highlights
22.
Current worry?
- homework?
23.
Current hate?
- nothing much to hate
24.
Favorite place to be?
- in my bed
25.
Least favorite place to be?
- school.
26.
Where would you like to go?
- france, paris
27.
Do you own slippers?
- yes
28.
What do you think you'll be in 10 yrs?
- a boss of a big corperate with my own business on the side, a wife, maybe pregnant.. yepp
29.
Do you burn or tan?
- both.
30.
Last thing you ate?
- some mexican candies
31.
Would you be a pirate?
- nah
32.
Last time you had an alcoholic drink?
- at my cousins house when my mother and aunt was there =X but they didnt see :]
33.
What songs do you sing in the shower?
- too many to keep track of
34.
What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?
- spiders. hahaha
36.
Last thing that made you laugh?
- my boyfriend
37.
Best bed sheets you had as a child?
- dont even remember having my own.
38.
Worst injury you've ever had?
- does braces count?! that shit hurts
40.
How many TVs do you have in your house?
- 2; one in the living room, and one in my room ;]
41.
Who is your loudest friend?
- Jennifer or Linda. xP
42.
Who is your most silent friend?
- Jody or Sandy
43.
Does someone have a crush on you?
- I don't know, and i dont care cause I'm married :]
44.
Do you wish on stars?
- hahaha i tried to on a shooting star but i was too amazed at it, that i forget to.
45.
What is your favorite book?
- tango
46.
What is your favorite candy?
- milk chocolate covered strawberries
47.
What song do/did you want played at your wedding?
- mm.. I DO- 98 degrees
48.
What song do you want played at your funeral?
- I miss you- aaliyah
49.
What were you doing 12AM last night?
- nope i was still up, doing the previous survey.
50.
Do you love someone?
- of course i do! :]
my feet fears brutally sore from work. i need to find some comfy shoes or something before my calluses gets worse. i should be doing my homework, but my laziness has taken over my body, which numbs me for quite some time. my mom's being ridiculous for not letting me go to SD with my baby's fambam. she's stirring up nonsense just because she cares about people's judgment. yeah i know what she means, but hey, i'm pretty deng old to make my own decisions. i miss my tubby. though i see him pretty often, i feel like i haven't had enough.. it's like being so dehydrated, you feel like youre going to pass the fuck out. hahaha funny analogy aint it? well.. ima take another survey, just because.. hahaha
1.
How tall are you baref
- im average for an asian chick
2.
Have you ever smoke
- never did and never will
3.
Do you own a gun?
- depends what kind of gun? lol
4.
Rehab
- nope clean offf that shiz
5.
Do you get nervo
- yes i do.
6.
What do you think
- depends who. but it varies
7.
What'
- santa can you hear me
8.
What do you prefe
- juice
9.
Do you do push-
- i try.. though it never really pulls through
10.
Have you ever done ecsta
- never did, and never will
11.
Are you vegit
- nope, i love my meats
12.
Do you like paink
- only when i need them? but no
13.
What is your secre
- eye fucking. HAHAHA
14.
Do you own a knife
- plenty
15. Do you have A.
?
- probably not. haha
16.
Date Of Birth
- feb 16 90
17.
Top 3 thoug
- im hungry
- i miss my boyfriend
- my feet hurts
18.
Name the last 3 thing
- mc Ds
- gloves
- cough drops
19.
Name five drink
- water
- some kinda of juice when i have it
- jasmine milk tea with pearls .. gotta cut back
- carmel frapp. gotta cut back on that too
- rasberry ice tea
20.
What time did you wake up today
- 1130
21.
Curre
- medium length dark, light brown with faded hay blonde under highlights
22.
Curre
- homework?
23.
Curre
- nothing much to hate
24.
Favor
- in my bed
25.
Least
- school.
26.
Where
- france, paris
27.
Do you own slipp
- yes
28.
What do you think
- a boss of a big corperate with my own business on the side, a wife, maybe pregnant.. yepp
29.
Do you burn or tan?
- both.
30.
Last thing
- some mexican candies
31.
Would
- nah
32.
Last time you had an alcoh
- at my cousins house when my mother and aunt was there =X but they didnt see :]
33.
What songs
- too many to keep track of
34.
What did you fear was going
- spiders. hahaha
36.
Last thing
- my boyfriend
37.
Best bed sheet
- dont even remember having my own.
38.
Worst
- does braces count?! that shit hurts
40.
How many TVs do you have in your house
- 2; one in the living room, and one in my room ;]
41.
Who is your loude
- Jennifer or Linda. xP
42.
Who is your most silen
- Jody or Sandy
43.
Does someo
- I don't know, and i dont care cause I'm married :]
44.
Do you wish on stars
- hahaha i tried to on a shooting star but i was too amazed at it, that i forget to.
45.
What is your favor
- tango
46.
What is your favor
- milk chocolate covered strawberries
47.
What song do/
- mm.. I DO- 98 degrees
48.
What song do you want playe
- I miss you- aaliyah
49.
What were you doing
- nope i was still up, doing the previous survey.
50.
Do you love someo
- of course i do! :]
One in the Morning
I am... BORED. and sleepy.. but i feel like dancing. i don't know. i feel out of shape, i wish i had more time in the world.. i desperately need the gym... but work has taken over my days, but thats okay cause im going to be banking... I cant wait for christmas.. what the hell im hella jumping forward.. but i meant i cant wait for halloween.. i can finally dress up without caring.. so.. yeah halloween is definitely the holiday girls use to dress up like sluts.. but cute sluts are the most acceptable! haha.. im freewriting right now if you couldn't tell.. just talking about things outta my ass.. hahaha yeah umm.. so this week has gone by like any other week.. SUPER FAST.. wierd aint it? i think it's cause ive still be preoccupied with everything.. school.. work.. boyfriend.. friends.. goddamn. thats my life.. its all good.. so today my intentions were to do my homework.. but its still sitting in a pile right at the end of my feet.. yepp didnt even touch it yet.. but im not going to procastinate as im reminding myself.. i must MUST do homework so it doesnt pile up on me.. then im screwed. haha yeah.. what else.. i feel drowsy but i think ima go find a survey.. i dont know. i just feel like filling one of those things out right now okay. time for survey!
Who is one guy friend you trust most?
- my boyfriend
Do you ever think "what if" about anything?
- all the time.
Have you ever regretted anything?
- of course, but you live and you learn
Do you judge people you don't know?
- yes, I'm initially a human.
Who/what is on your mind right now?
- my boyfriend, i miss talking to him late at night..
Like anyone?
- nope, I'm in love with that ONE.
Are you happy with the way things are going?
- I'm content, I wish it could be better, but i rather appreciate what i have.
Who has texted you in the last 24 hrs?
- TONS of people like my boyfriend, duyen, ivrs, lils, hang
Have you ever made out in a bathroom?
- hmm.. not that i can remember.. probably not.
Has more than one person ever told you they're in love with you?
- OF COURSE! hahaha seriously, yeah i think so.
Looking forward to something this weekend?
- work? hahaha to make more moolah
Whose bed were you last in, besides your own?
- hmm.. probably my mothers
In the past week, have you cried?
- yessir, hates it.
Do you have any bruises?
- surprising no..
Who was the last person you had a phone conversation with for more than an hour?
- no one, i don't really talk on the phone that much anymore.
Dark hair or light hair in the opposite sex?
- dark
Would you ever consider piercing your lip?
- i did, but i don't want it
Who are your favorite people to talk to when you’re down?
- if it's about life or other things, my boyfriend. if it's about him, tina :]
What time did you wake up this morning?
-6: 34 am
What woke you up this morning?
- alarm.. yuck
Are you stubborn?
- yes
Is there someone you will never forget?
- tons.
When was the last time you saw snow?
- too long ago..
Who told you they loved you last?
- boyfriend.
What color are your eyes?
- hazel brown :]
If you could have something right now, what would it be?
- my boyfriend
Do you tend to rip the paper off water bottles?
- nopes
When will you turn 18?
- I'm already there
Your number three tells you their pregnant, you say?
- whats a number three?-- 0OHHH on my myspace.. THATS LILIAN.. i would say.. "shit youre screwed" LOL jk! but i would help her, with my words? i seriously dont know.. prolly just say, "whatever you do I'll support you" cause thats what true friends does ;]
Ever kissed your number 1 on myspace?
- YES haha
Did you ever date the last person you kissed?
- yes
Do you want to get married & have children one day?
- of course, that's something i live for.
What was the last movie you watched? With who?
- forgetting sarah marshall, with my boyfriend
Where was the last house you went besides your house?
- duys house
Do you have your eye on anyone?
- yes, and its not going to lingure anywhere
What is something you disliked about your day?
- i didn't get enough time to sleep or nap -___-
Did you go outside for more than 30 minutes today?
-yes
Did you see the person you like today?
- yes
Anyone you would like to get things straight with?
- yes
Do you think the drinking age should be lowered?
- NOPE, but that only makes me a hypocrite. but no cause hella kiddies are starting to drink.. and not being responsible about it either.
Do you like Obama?
- sure. i think we need him to make a change
Last sporting event you watched on TV?
- hockey! GO SHARKS.. though they lost today -__-
Have you ever made out for more than an hour?
- i dont think so.
Are you sleepy?
- fuck yes.
Do you have any career ideas yet?
- i want to be a BOSS
Are you okay with abortion?
- yes, because when you chow down to that stuff, many will turn to that direction
What TV show should never stop getting produced?
- ONE TREE HILL and gossip girl
Can you whistle?
- yes
What shirt are you wearing?
- hot pink tank
Waiting on anything?
- to sleep.. this thing is pretty damn lengthy.
What about your number two?
what about her?! shes my numero uno bitcho. HAHAHA yeah i love my sister.
What did you do today?
i went to school, i had a two hour gap so i waited for my man then we went to tarje then i went back to school and took my quiz then up and bounce then went to pick up my pay check then went home then napped and watch sharks game then went to duys then had a study session with nha and jody and then just chilled and went home.
Anything hurting you now?
- nope. just my eyes cause i want my sleep.
What are you doing tonight?
- sleep...
Has anyone of the opposite sex hurt you emotionally or physically?
- yeah, love hurts both ways PERIOD.
If you were in the hospital would your number one come see you?
i dont know, cause shes FAR FAR away =[
Anything bothering you right now?
- not really.. i just wanna go to sleep
and thats what im going to do! good night world.
Who is one guy frien
- my boyfriend
Do you ever think
- all the time.
Have you ever regre
- of course, but you live and you learn
Do you judge
- yes, I'm initially a human.
Who/what is on your mind right
- my boyfriend, i miss talking to him late at night..
Like anyon
- nope, I'm in love with that ONE.
Are you happy
- I'm content, I wish it could be better, but i rather appreciate what i have.
Who has texte
- TONS of people like my boyfriend, duyen, ivrs, lils, hang
Have you ever made out in a bathr
- hmm.. not that i can remember.. probably not.
Has more than one perso
- OF COURSE! hahaha seriously, yeah i think so.
Looki
- work? hahaha to make more moolah
Whose
- hmm.. probably my mothers
In the past week,
- yessir, hates it.
Do you have any bruis
- surprising no..
Who was the last perso
- no one, i don't really talk on the phone that much anymore.
Dark hair or light
- dark
Would
- i did, but i don't want it
Who are your favor
- if it's about life or other things, my boyfriend. if it's about him, tina :]
What time did you wake up this morni
-6: 34 am
What woke you up this morni
- alarm.. yuck
Are you stubb
- yes
Is there
- tons.
When was the last time you saw snow?
- too long ago..
Who told you they loved
- boyfriend.
What color
- hazel brown :]
If you could
- my boyfriend
Do you tend to rip the paper
- nopes
When will you turn 18?
- I'm already there
Your numbe
- whats a number three?-- 0OHHH on my myspace.. THATS LILIAN.. i would say.. "shit youre screwed" LOL jk! but i would help her, with my words? i seriously dont know.. prolly just say, "whatever you do I'll support you" cause thats what true friends does ;]
Ever kisse
- YES haha
Did you ever date the last perso
- yes
Do you want to get marri
- of course, that's something i live for.
What was the last movie
- forgetting sarah marshall, with my boyfriend
Where
- duys house
Do you have your eye on anyon
- yes, and its not going to lingure anywhere
What is somet
- i didn't get enough time to sleep or nap -___-
Did you go outsi
-yes
Did you see the perso
- yes
Anyon
- yes
Do you think
- NOPE, but that only makes me a hypocrite. but no cause hella kiddies are starting to drink.. and not being responsible about it either.
Do you like Obama
- sure. i think we need him to make a change
Last sport
- hockey! GO SHARKS.. though they lost today -__-
Have you ever made out for more than an hour?
- i dont think so.
Are you sleep
- fuck yes.
Do you have any caree
- i want to be a BOSS
Are you okay with abort
- yes, because when you chow down to that stuff, many will turn to that direction
What TV show shoul
- ONE TREE HILL and gossip girl
Can you whist
- yes
What shirt
- hot pink tank
Waiti
- to sleep.. this thing is pretty damn lengthy.
What about
what about her?! shes my numero uno bitcho. HAHAHA yeah i love my sister.
What did you do today
i went to school, i had a two hour gap so i waited for my man then we went to tarje then i went back to school and took my quiz then up and bounce then went to pick up my pay check then went home then napped and watch sharks game then went to duys then had a study session with nha and jody and then just chilled and went home.
Anyth
- nope. just my eyes cause i want my sleep.
What are you doing
- sleep...
Has anyon
- yeah, love hurts both ways PERIOD.
If you were in the hospi
i dont know, cause shes FAR FAR away =[
Anyth
- not really.. i just wanna go to sleep
and thats what im going to do! good night world.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
On top of the world!
I don't know why I haven't updated my life, but it's mainly cause I've been so preoccupied with living my life. Hmm.. so being a college student for almost a month now has definitely changed my life, in a sense of turning it from boring summer days.. to better days. haha.. but as for now.. i'd just keep this short.. so school has been full of homework, but lately I've been on top of my game. love life has been the utmost greatest! having him here is one of the tremedous thing I can truly ask for. I just love how he's around now :] and Now I have a J.O.B! hahaha so I can be a sugga mama for my babies :] woot. alright gotta get some rest. good night world.
Monday, September 8, 2008
the good life.
Everything is finally turning around. Laughter and the jittery feeling is falling back into my life, as it dims out the recent past I've been putting up with. The arguments and the let downs have finally died out. I feel rejuvenated and alive living the good life.
I'm happy for the future. With my boyfriend by my side, and my two bestest, I can't wait for college to come around. Awaiting for my schedule to be tightened up is absolutely exciting since summer has left my pockets empty, and my days unoccupied.. yeah it's devastatingly boring. I just want to go to school, finish my priorities and get moving into my life where i plan on moving down to socal in two years.
I'm ready to play it my way and run over all doubts. Now all i need to do, is find myself a job. Then I'll be all set. Well that's about it for now. goodnight world.
I'm happy for the future. With my boyfriend by my side, and my two bestest, I can't wait for college to come around. Awaiting for my schedule to be tightened up is absolutely exciting since summer has left my pockets empty, and my days unoccupied.. yeah it's devastatingly boring. I just want to go to school, finish my priorities and get moving into my life where i plan on moving down to socal in two years.
I'm ready to play it my way and run over all doubts. Now all i need to do, is find myself a job. Then I'll be all set. Well that's about it for now. goodnight world.
Monday, September 1, 2008
the aftermath
"you shouldn't be with someone if they're not going to make you happy in the end"
it started off with those words and somehow karma is coming back to end this off. Even though i just got off the ship of heart break, it seriously hasn't healed from the rough trip. Everything seems to be like a fairy tale when we're together, but we're more far apart than being in the presence of each other.. leaving me feeling more alone than ever.
my heart always stay weaken with the feeling of making others happy. it was always better to have the one you love, stay happy, than pleasing your own desires. love on the other hand, is a burn of selfishness. It'll never rest until you finally had enough. Is it time to take back what's rightfully everyones? happiness is suppose to be everyone's own, right? making sacrafices is another step, but if they don't notice it, then maybe it's taken for granted. who knows..
I'm aware of what is, what has been, and what might be. but i don't know if I'll be okay to let myself hit rock bottom again, knowing every chances in life is a risk. but is that risk worth risking?
you chose to do what you did, i'll never be the one to put you the spot of choosing.
it started off with those words and somehow karma is coming back to end this off. Even though i just got off the ship of heart break, it seriously hasn't healed from the rough trip. Everything seems to be like a fairy tale when we're together, but we're more far apart than being in the presence of each other.. leaving me feeling more alone than ever.
my heart always stay weaken with the feeling of making others happy. it was always better to have the one you love, stay happy, than pleasing your own desires. love on the other hand, is a burn of selfishness. It'll never rest until you finally had enough. Is it time to take back what's rightfully everyones? happiness is suppose to be everyone's own, right? making sacrafices is another step, but if they don't notice it, then maybe it's taken for granted. who knows..
I'm aware of what is, what has been, and what might be. but i don't know if I'll be okay to let myself hit rock bottom again, knowing every chances in life is a risk. but is that risk worth risking?
you chose to do what you did, i'll never be the one to put you the spot of choosing.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Friday, August 15, 2008
So together but So broken up inside.
It's eating me alive and i can't let it go. Why should I do this to myself? I feel like a fool in love, except I don't know if i still want to be in love..
How can you tell me that I mean everything to you, but when someone ask you if you're in love, you tell them YOU GUESS. are you serious.. shouldn't you be sure if you're in love. and if so why are you so afraid to show that you are. you seem to be holding back. and you think that i won't find out because i might not care to check. you're word cuts deeper than a knife would. and i just don't know if I'm still motivated to be in love with someone who isn't sure of himself.
you're just not the guy i thought you were.
there's no energy left inside me to continue something that seems to be dying out.
How can you tell me that I mean everything to you, but when someone ask you if you're in love, you tell them YOU GUESS. are you serious.. shouldn't you be sure if you're in love. and if so why are you so afraid to show that you are. you seem to be holding back. and you think that i won't find out because i might not care to check. you're word cuts deeper than a knife would. and i just don't know if I'm still motivated to be in love with someone who isn't sure of himself.
you're just not the guy i thought you were.
there's no energy left inside me to continue something that seems to be dying out.
Monday, August 11, 2008
More than words
" i just wanted to take this time
to show you that im glad that you're mines
i love how you cater to me and appreciate the things i do
i love your eyes, your smiles, and the way you kiss me too
i love how you're so silly, yet so sweet
but i hate how i can only see you a few times a week
but i do love how you wait for me everytime i come down
always waiting at home in your room, wandering around
then when i get there, you always give me kisses and hugs
this is what i love most about your love
i have the best girlfriend that i can ever ask
i hope this love of our will always last"
he's such a sweet heart.
ahhhhh!!!! i adore him <3
to show you that im glad that you're mines
i love how you cater to me and appreciate the things i do
i love your eyes, your smiles, and the way you kiss me too
i love how you're so silly, yet so sweet
but i hate how i can only see you a few times a week
but i do love how you wait for me everytime i come down
always waiting at home in your room, wandering around
then when i get there, you always give me kisses and hugs
this is what i love most about your love
i have the best girlfriend that i can ever ask
i hope this love of our will always last"
he's such a sweet heart.
ahhhhh!!!! i adore him <3
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Missing.
Pill popping, head throbbing, fever jumping.. needless to say more? I've been sick for 6 days straight and luckily i am getting better. I feel bad because my friend sat with me through these 6 whole days stuck at home because i was sick. what a great friend huh ? :] I've gone through from fever, to vomitting, to blood withdrawal, to pills after pills, to spitting up big fat luggies, ugh enough about this stuff, it's making me sick to the stomach as i think about it.
My summer so far hasn't been one of the greatest. There were ups and downs, but as i look back i believe there were more downs than ups. That's pretty pathetic. And as i remember "it's not what happens to you, It's what you do about it." but in this idiotic case I honestly can't do shit. I'm just the person on the bench, screaming my lungs out, but if the game fails, all i can do is sit in disappointment. In reality I am disappointed. There's so much going on that words can't express the journey I went through. It's like what happened to everything we've been through. What ever happened to we're thicker than anything that get in our way. That "thing" faded as time has passed, but only some held on, some simply departed their own ways. I use to have this vision of an ideal person, but thanks to someone dear, I've opened myself to a bigger light realizing shit like that can never happened. I do expect more out of those who matter, but i have to back track because it might end up leaving me in utter disappointment.
Being sick with all this bullshit is lame. But what sucks even more is not having the one you love with you 24/7. Yeah i hate the damn distant, but that doesn't change how much i wanna see him or how much i love him or how much i want to talk to him or to just be with him. He make everything okay, and he sure is damn one of a kind. I truly can't ask for more and i don't care what others have to say. " Those who mind won't matter and those who matter won't mind" still true. There are only time where i talk about things in our life, but surely there are more to us than others may think. He's already wonderful and "perfect" in my eyes.
Missing... I miss not being sick, being able to go out enjoy the damn summer, getting roasted under the gleaming sun. I miss what use to be, the laugh, the cry, the thick and thins, it won't ever be the same. I miss my boyfriend, being gone for three nights is still long, can't even talk to him, can't see him, or spend time with him on july 4th. If only life can take back things, maybe some of the shit won't turn out to be so damn shitty. HAHA. yeah right. things happen for a reason correct? i still think it's bullshit.
well that's about it.
take care.
My summer so far hasn't been one of the greatest. There were ups and downs, but as i look back i believe there were more downs than ups. That's pretty pathetic. And as i remember "it's not what happens to you, It's what you do about it." but in this idiotic case I honestly can't do shit. I'm just the person on the bench, screaming my lungs out, but if the game fails, all i can do is sit in disappointment. In reality I am disappointed. There's so much going on that words can't express the journey I went through. It's like what happened to everything we've been through. What ever happened to we're thicker than anything that get in our way. That "thing" faded as time has passed, but only some held on, some simply departed their own ways. I use to have this vision of an ideal person, but thanks to someone dear, I've opened myself to a bigger light realizing shit like that can never happened. I do expect more out of those who matter, but i have to back track because it might end up leaving me in utter disappointment.
Being sick with all this bullshit is lame. But what sucks even more is not having the one you love with you 24/7. Yeah i hate the damn distant, but that doesn't change how much i wanna see him or how much i love him or how much i want to talk to him or to just be with him. He make everything okay, and he sure is damn one of a kind. I truly can't ask for more and i don't care what others have to say. " Those who mind won't matter and those who matter won't mind" still true. There are only time where i talk about things in our life, but surely there are more to us than others may think. He's already wonderful and "perfect" in my eyes.
Missing... I miss not being sick, being able to go out enjoy the damn summer, getting roasted under the gleaming sun. I miss what use to be, the laugh, the cry, the thick and thins, it won't ever be the same. I miss my boyfriend, being gone for three nights is still long, can't even talk to him, can't see him, or spend time with him on july 4th. If only life can take back things, maybe some of the shit won't turn out to be so damn shitty. HAHA. yeah right. things happen for a reason correct? i still think it's bullshit.
well that's about it.
take care.
Friday, June 27, 2008
Part time love.
The beginning phase is slowly fading away. As time is forwarding, true colors are beginning to show. scared much..? just a little. There is so much going on, but I'm still unsure. You say you miss me but when I'm there you don't take it to your advantage. action still speaks louder than words, so tell me why aren't the peices fitting together? I still feel like an option, and I need you to tell me where I stand.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Stillness.
REALIZATION
Notice the things that have changed
Notice the unordinary
Notice the emotions in my eyes
Notice the phase of a young love
Notice the beautiful connection that we share
Notice the atomsphere our souls let out
Notice the reasons behind my actions
Notice the weakness through my strength
Notice the trembles between my eyes and lips
Notice the passion and demands of my heart
Notice the sorrows i weep without questioning
Notice the likes and dislikes my head bestowed upon you
Notice the kindness and warmth true love may bring
Notice the pain when more love is exposed
Notice the sweetness and romanticity of one self
Notice the lines i write and the meaning i might throw
Notice the path ive lost once i look into your eyes
i just want you to NOTICE me.
and what i truly mean.
Notice the things that have changed
Notice the unordinary
Notice the emotions in my eyes
Notice the phase of a young love
Notice the beautiful connection that we share
Notice the atomsphere our souls let out
Notice the reasons behind my actions
Notice the weakness through my strength
Notice the trembles between my eyes and lips
Notice the passion and demands of my heart
Notice the sorrows i weep without questioning
Notice the likes and dislikes my head bestowed upon you
Notice the kindness and warmth true love may bring
Notice the pain when more love is exposed
Notice the sweetness and romanticity of one self
Notice the lines i write and the meaning i might throw
Notice the path ive lost once i look into your eyes
i just want you to NOTICE me.
and what i truly mean.
Friday, May 16, 2008
The start of something great.
Round five and I'm in it to win it.
I'm done with falling in and out of love with the wrong people, but who knows if it's right so might as well give it a shot because you got one life to live and gotta live it to the damn fullest. I love the direction i lead my life, just because I know I have something so wonderful, that it feels like I've never done this before. I know where i went wrong, and I won't let it happen this time because things change and for once I'm changing. No one in this world can stop me and I really don't give a damn because I'm happy and I know i have the right people in my life to make me the happiest that i can be. Haven't you heard? " Love at Fifth sight" haha :]
So I know i haven't been blogging so often, I guess I've been so busy with school that I didn't even budge to write in here. It's all good cause school is ending, and I'm moving on with my life. I can't wait for it to end already. I know I'll miss being in high school, but it's dreadful if you ask me, especially since everyone wants to make something out of themselves. They just don't know, but once you get out of that whole life of labels, foolishness, and immaturity you realize that you're one speck that doesn't even matter to the world. You're out the on your own and somehow you gotta learn how to deal with things on your own and take full responsibility for your action. But who knows, the future awaits those who will become successful in life and those who will fail.
So as I'm waiting for this schoool year to end, I'm looking forward to all the upcoming events that will happen! Prom is in a week, and tell me why i still don't feel all that anxious? I guess I went all out on Creek's prom, but I don't know, it was fun, but I just wanted something better. I hope it will turn out to be a good prom, but I'm in doubt, just cause our class is poor and we have the most lame administration ever. This summer might be just that damn great. I'm so excited that my twinkee is coming this summer! We're going to L.A. and do spontaneous shit, just live this summer life up since everyone is seperating. It's kind of depressing, but I have a feeling we won't seperate at heart. I hope I'm still going to Hawaii with my sister. She's going to go to move down to socal this year so I want to spend as much time i can before she leaves. She really is my bestest. I don't know how I'm going to live without her spunkiness. So, since I haven't updated my life, I will recap it :]
PROM!!!
On prom day, I woke up by the sound of Nhung's voice. So then i went back to sleep and she kept waking me up to tell me to lock the door, get her medicine, etc. Things I do for that skank. haha Anywho, so when i finally woke up, I got a visit by my lover, and we kicked it for a bit, then mother came home with some taco bell. Then went to my hair and make up appointment. It was expensive as fuck, but I guess it was pretty descent. Then went home around like 5 ish so i rushed to get my stuff and headed over to the twins house. When I got there, I changed into my dress and put on the finishing touches and was finished, but then my date went to go pick up Linda since he was her and Vince's ride, so we waited. Then we headed over to the overfelt garden to meet up with everyone. Then we took pictures and then went to wendys! hahaha yeah.. hella people we're looking at us thinking we were in the wrong place. Then we headed over to the Tech museum. When we got there, we directly went to go take pictures. We took care of our own individual shots, and then had the group picture. Then we went to coat check then headed to the dance floor. It was aiight, then we did some exploration. We went to the third floor because we wanted to go to the roof top, but when we got there we were distracted by the chocolate fondue. It was awesome! Then the first slow song came on. We were too lazy to go all the way to the lower level so we slowed dance on the third floor. After we went to the elevator because that was the only way to get up into the rooftop, so we were told. But it was taking FOREVER to open, so we just roamed around and then finally we saw that it was open. The WHOLE group rushed into the elevator along with 5-7 other people that was already in the elevator. In my head I was thinking that it would be too crowded and it might overload and usually when that does happen the elevator would beep, but surprising it didn't so I thought that it was fine. Then we pressed the button to go to the roof top and someone said " Oh crap, the maximum capacity is 22 people" and clearly, there was so much more than that. When it started moving, instead of going up, we started dropping down. It was a short drop, but my heart started racing. Everyone started panicing. It dropped about 3 times until we pressed the emergency stop button. The elevator alarm went off. We all were suffocating and some girl was scared because she was clastrophobic. The guys pried open one of the side so that we can get some oxygen in that small elevator. We concluded that there were 43 people in that elevator and it was damn stuffy. People took out their cell phones to call whoever they can. Then the guys pried open the other side which was the side we came in from and we saw the floor we were on above our heads. We yelled for helped then finally somoene came and they got help. Then we were told various instructions so that we can get the hell out. We were stuck in there for thirty freaking minutes, and that killed some of my friend's mood, but i tried making the best of it still and thought on the brighter side, we made history and that night a rememberable night! Then we returned to the dance floor, but many didn't want to dance any longer. So we left and headed to the after party, Jennifer's bday party :] It was pretty chilled since we got a hella chilled hotel dude. He switched rooms for us so that we can be a bit louder. Even though there were drama and complaints, it was still pretty crackin. hahaha. yeah thats pretty much it, and bday girl KO.ed hahaha xP yeah that's what happened.
Badminton is finally over and I'm happy! well I'm also disappointed that me and my partner didn't place for CCS. Oh well, honestly this year went alright, I just wished that my old coach didn't resigned and still stayed with us. Since badminton is over i have more time on my hand, so now i have time to relax and enjoy what's left of my senior year in highschool. well that's all for now, can't wait to see my boyfriend and the kids tomorrow. --
I'm done with falling in and out of love with the wrong people, but who knows if it's right so might as well give it a shot because you got one life to live and gotta live it to the damn fullest. I love the direction i lead my life, just because I know I have something so wonderful, that it feels like I've never done this before. I know where i went wrong, and I won't let it happen this time because things change and for once I'm changing. No one in this world can stop me and I really don't give a damn because I'm happy and I know i have the right people in my life to make me the happiest that i can be. Haven't you heard? " Love at Fifth sight" haha :]
So I know i haven't been blogging so often, I guess I've been so busy with school that I didn't even budge to write in here. It's all good cause school is ending, and I'm moving on with my life. I can't wait for it to end already. I know I'll miss being in high school, but it's dreadful if you ask me, especially since everyone wants to make something out of themselves. They just don't know, but once you get out of that whole life of labels, foolishness, and immaturity you realize that you're one speck that doesn't even matter to the world. You're out the on your own and somehow you gotta learn how to deal with things on your own and take full responsibility for your action. But who knows, the future awaits those who will become successful in life and those who will fail.
So as I'm waiting for this schoool year to end, I'm looking forward to all the upcoming events that will happen! Prom is in a week, and tell me why i still don't feel all that anxious? I guess I went all out on Creek's prom, but I don't know, it was fun, but I just wanted something better. I hope it will turn out to be a good prom, but I'm in doubt, just cause our class is poor and we have the most lame administration ever. This summer might be just that damn great. I'm so excited that my twinkee is coming this summer! We're going to L.A. and do spontaneous shit, just live this summer life up since everyone is seperating. It's kind of depressing, but I have a feeling we won't seperate at heart. I hope I'm still going to Hawaii with my sister. She's going to go to move down to socal this year so I want to spend as much time i can before she leaves. She really is my bestest. I don't know how I'm going to live without her spunkiness. So, since I haven't updated my life, I will recap it :]
PROM!!!
On prom day, I woke up by the sound of Nhung's voice. So then i went back to sleep and she kept waking me up to tell me to lock the door, get her medicine, etc. Things I do for that skank. haha Anywho, so when i finally woke up, I got a visit by my lover, and we kicked it for a bit, then mother came home with some taco bell. Then went to my hair and make up appointment. It was expensive as fuck, but I guess it was pretty descent. Then went home around like 5 ish so i rushed to get my stuff and headed over to the twins house. When I got there, I changed into my dress and put on the finishing touches and was finished, but then my date went to go pick up Linda since he was her and Vince's ride, so we waited. Then we headed over to the overfelt garden to meet up with everyone. Then we took pictures and then went to wendys! hahaha yeah.. hella people we're looking at us thinking we were in the wrong place. Then we headed over to the Tech museum. When we got there, we directly went to go take pictures. We took care of our own individual shots, and then had the group picture. Then we went to coat check then headed to the dance floor. It was aiight, then we did some exploration. We went to the third floor because we wanted to go to the roof top, but when we got there we were distracted by the chocolate fondue. It was awesome! Then the first slow song came on. We were too lazy to go all the way to the lower level so we slowed dance on the third floor. After we went to the elevator because that was the only way to get up into the rooftop, so we were told. But it was taking FOREVER to open, so we just roamed around and then finally we saw that it was open. The WHOLE group rushed into the elevator along with 5-7 other people that was already in the elevator. In my head I was thinking that it would be too crowded and it might overload and usually when that does happen the elevator would beep, but surprising it didn't so I thought that it was fine. Then we pressed the button to go to the roof top and someone said " Oh crap, the maximum capacity is 22 people" and clearly, there was so much more than that. When it started moving, instead of going up, we started dropping down. It was a short drop, but my heart started racing. Everyone started panicing. It dropped about 3 times until we pressed the emergency stop button. The elevator alarm went off. We all were suffocating and some girl was scared because she was clastrophobic. The guys pried open one of the side so that we can get some oxygen in that small elevator. We concluded that there were 43 people in that elevator and it was damn stuffy. People took out their cell phones to call whoever they can. Then the guys pried open the other side which was the side we came in from and we saw the floor we were on above our heads. We yelled for helped then finally somoene came and they got help. Then we were told various instructions so that we can get the hell out. We were stuck in there for thirty freaking minutes, and that killed some of my friend's mood, but i tried making the best of it still and thought on the brighter side, we made history and that night a rememberable night! Then we returned to the dance floor, but many didn't want to dance any longer. So we left and headed to the after party, Jennifer's bday party :] It was pretty chilled since we got a hella chilled hotel dude. He switched rooms for us so that we can be a bit louder. Even though there were drama and complaints, it was still pretty crackin. hahaha. yeah thats pretty much it, and bday girl KO.ed hahaha xP yeah that's what happened.
Badminton is finally over and I'm happy! well I'm also disappointed that me and my partner didn't place for CCS. Oh well, honestly this year went alright, I just wished that my old coach didn't resigned and still stayed with us. Since badminton is over i have more time on my hand, so now i have time to relax and enjoy what's left of my senior year in highschool. well that's all for now, can't wait to see my boyfriend and the kids tomorrow. --
Sunday, April 27, 2008
boredumm = surveys?
its currently 1 33 am. and i have nothing to do.. soo i decided to take a survey. enjoy!
Do you miss anything or anyone? hell yeah!
What makes you laugh no matter what? kids! :]
Have you kissed anyone on the lips within the past five hours? yes.. hahah
Who was the last person you talked to? on the phone: tony; online: andrew
HARDER QUESTIONS
Do you get butterflies around the person you like? yeah.. still do.
Do you think it is bad to have sex at your age? not really.
Will you get married? of course. probably 26 - 27 :]
Do you lie about your age? nope. i'm not ashamed of being 18
VERY PERSONAL QUESTIONS
Are you happy with yourself? yeah, i believe i am. even though there are people who tries to bring me down at times.. but i am pretty damn happy.
Would you change yourself for the person you love?like what? it only depends. if it's for the best for the relationship then i will try, but otherwise if they can't accept me for who i am then why the hell are they with me. DUH.
SECRETS QUESTIONS
When did you last cry?this morning. i woke up crying bc i had a horrible dream.
Do you believe in religion? yes i do, even though i am a sinner, i still have faith in god.
What is the last lie you told your parents? probably some excuse to stay out longer. i feel bad but im the youngest and i always get nagged on.
Did you ever wish a close friend to death? never. why would someone do such thing.
Have you ever made out until you ran out of breath? yeah but i only gasp for more air therefore it never really stopped until we unlock lips. haha
Have you done bad things with your parents near by? not really.. gotta be an angel when they're around.
What is the weather like today? it was really warm and beautiful. it's a nice day to go picnic-ing or beaching.
Where will you be in the next hour? snoozing my ass off cuz booty is too busy having fun.
Do you think you're approachable? of course i am. if you don't mug me or nothing then it'll be fine. hahahha but yes i am :]
How long have you known your best friend? 7 years
Do you currently have a hickey? nope
What was your worst subject in school? math analysis.. and it still is.
Do you have your license? yep almost for two years now.
What is the best eye color on a member of the opposite sex? natural brown eyes. unless they have contacts then blue or amthyst.
What was the last movie you watched? enchanted, at home.
Last place you kissed someone? car
What was the last movie you saw in theaters, was it good? horton hears a who. it was alright thought it would have been better.
What would you do if you found out your most recent ex is engaged today? congratulate them.
PRETEND YOU'VE HAD 15 BEERS...
Describe what you would be doing: K.Oed
Would you ever stay with someone, just because you didn't want to break up? nope. i dont live lies.
Where was your default myspace picture taken? chocolate sushi!
What are you doing tonight?missing my new car.
Do you miss anything or anyone? hell yeah!
What makes you laugh no matter what? kids! :]
Have you kissed anyone on the lips within the past five hours? yes.. hahah
Who was the last person you talked to? on the phone: tony; online: andrew
HARDER QUESTIONS
Do you get butterflies around the person you like? yeah.. still do.
Do you think it is bad to have sex at your age? not really.
Will you get married? of course. probably 26 - 27 :]
Do you lie about your age? nope. i'm not ashamed of being 18
VERY PERSONAL QUESTIONS
Are you happy with yourself? yeah, i believe i am. even though there are people who tries to bring me down at times.. but i am pretty damn happy.
Would you change yourself for the person you love?like what? it only depends. if it's for the best for the relationship then i will try, but otherwise if they can't accept me for who i am then why the hell are they with me. DUH.
SECRETS QUESTIONS
When did you last cry?this morning. i woke up crying bc i had a horrible dream.
Do you believe in religion? yes i do, even though i am a sinner, i still have faith in god.
What is the last lie you told your parents? probably some excuse to stay out longer. i feel bad but im the youngest and i always get nagged on.
Did you ever wish a close friend to death? never. why would someone do such thing.
Have you ever made out until you ran out of breath? yeah but i only gasp for more air therefore it never really stopped until we unlock lips. haha
Have you done bad things with your parents near by? not really.. gotta be an angel when they're around.
What is the weather like today? it was really warm and beautiful. it's a nice day to go picnic-ing or beaching.
Where will you be in the next hour? snoozing my ass off cuz booty is too busy having fun.
Do you think you're approachable? of course i am. if you don't mug me or nothing then it'll be fine. hahahha but yes i am :]
How long have you known your best friend? 7 years
Do you currently have a hickey? nope
What was your worst subject in school? math analysis.. and it still is.
Do you have your license? yep almost for two years now.
What is the best eye color on a member of the opposite sex? natural brown eyes. unless they have contacts then blue or amthyst.
What was the last movie you watched? enchanted, at home.
Last place you kissed someone? car
What was the last movie you saw in theaters, was it good? horton hears a who. it was alright thought it would have been better.
What would you do if you found out your most recent ex is engaged today? congratulate them.
PRETEND YOU'VE HAD 15 BEERS...
Describe what you would be doing: K.Oed
Would you ever stay with someone, just because you didn't want to break up? nope. i dont live lies.
Where was your default myspace picture taken? chocolate sushi!
What are you doing tonight?missing my new car.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
They try to pull me away.. but they don't know the truth.
" What can feel so right yet seem so wrong"
It finally hit me with words to realize what I'm doing won't make my life right. Life is an obstacle filled with challenges.. and for me to turn away from my heart because of what my head says is like living a lie. I hate how i deal with these things, but its true when friends do tell you things you don't want to hear.. but it's reality and sooner or later i have to face it right? I know my rights from wrong... but at the same time I'm too considerate of other's feelings. I don't know what i should do.. but i really think it's time i stood up and take everything in .. it's my responsibility to deal with what i feel .. even though i have everyones blessings.. I'm the one who make the final decision of what i do with my life and my heart.. and I'm that girl that knows what she wants... and i want to be able to be okay with letting my heart go again. and i want to be able to live my life with no worries. those who mind doesn't matter and those who matter doesn't mind right? and that's where i will stand. It's my life and i will live on with no regrets.
It finally hit me with words to realize what I'm doing won't make my life right. Life is an obstacle filled with challenges.. and for me to turn away from my heart because of what my head says is like living a lie. I hate how i deal with these things, but its true when friends do tell you things you don't want to hear.. but it's reality and sooner or later i have to face it right? I know my rights from wrong... but at the same time I'm too considerate of other's feelings. I don't know what i should do.. but i really think it's time i stood up and take everything in .. it's my responsibility to deal with what i feel .. even though i have everyones blessings.. I'm the one who make the final decision of what i do with my life and my heart.. and I'm that girl that knows what she wants... and i want to be able to be okay with letting my heart go again. and i want to be able to live my life with no worries. those who mind doesn't matter and those who matter doesn't mind right? and that's where i will stand. It's my life and i will live on with no regrets.
Monday, April 14, 2008
i keep bleeding love.
i feel.. shattered. lost. sad. misconceived. denied. agitated. envious. careless. and all those adjectives with the meaning of hate. when things are slowly turning around everything goes right back to wrong. what did i do to make myself think that I'm honestly content. There are baggage of emotions packed up waiting for me to pick them up. i feel like I'm not understood. by one person. no. by many. maybe. i know I'll be okay because of those who are in my life and those who aren't. I'm trapped in a black hole, where nothing and no one can disturb my troubles. but then again. theres always someone. and maybe one day that person will drag me out of there, but for now, I'm stuck.
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